Wednesday 16th April, 2008

Let me tell you about Crabby.

Vilanculos, affectionately known as Villain chaos has its fair share of rogues and thieves and pick pockets. Like a Dickens novel the market harbours the villains who are always on the look out for unsuspecting tourists. If you are not alert you can lose your cell phone, camera and money in the blink of an eye. The usual scam starts of with your car mobbed by eager youths some as young as six, trying to sell anything from cigarettes to prawns. While you are distracted a sticky hand will sweep up a cell phone left on a dashboard or a handbag off a lap. They are so adept that you don’t notice and its only once you have left the market you suddenly realise that you have fallen prey to the market gangs.

You would think after a year in Vilanculos I would have learnt all the the hazards of the market. Unfortunately for me the Vilanculos Bank ran out of money so there I was parked outside the market trying to negotiate a money exchange. Sergio my contact went in search of a money changer and took longer than expected. As I sat in the car in the sizzling heat I was besieged by the usual hawkers but made sure cell phone etc were all out of reach.

A small boy approached me with a gigantic crab tied by its pincers. I inspected the crab as it dangled from his finger in front of my face. I shook my head telling the boy I was not interested in a crab but he became insistent swinging the crab backwards and forwards. I looked at the crab and its stalk eyes looked at me pleadingly. I could hear Crabby saying “Please buy me and save me from this dreadful fate” As my birth sign is Cancer I felt I was beginning to bond with the poor crab. I tried to ignore Crabby but every time I looked at him his expression became more desperate. The small boy could sense that I was weakening and gave Crabby a massive swing towards me. Poor Crabby dangled helplessly in front of my nose and what could I do but give in. I negotiated an exorbitant price for Crabby and the child’s eyes lit up with triumph he knew he had won.

I brought my bag out from its hiding place and put it on my lap. Keeping my eyes fixed on the child I searched for some coins pressing them into the boys hand. I then reached out for the the helpless crab. By this time the window was crowded with other hawkers holding up dripping prawns and avocadoes. I held Crabby by his grass rope keeping him at a safe distance. The pincers were huge and if he broke loose he could bite my finger off. I was now completely distracted and my bag was on my lap. “Put him in the back” the small boy urged hopping up and down, as I turned my head to drop Crabby in the back I knew I had made a terrible mistake. The moment of turning my head had offered the boy a chance to put his little hand in my bag and relieve me of the rest of my money.

The child was gone in an instant and Crabby was scurrying round the back of the car. I drove home furious with myself. On arrival I opened the door to rescue Crabby. I carried him carefully and was relieved to see his pincers were still secure. I put him on the grass and attempted to try and undo the grass knots. My idea was to free him and hope he would scuttle back to the mangroves.

It proved to be difficult and I needed help so I headed off to the Blue Waters bar with Crabby suspended in the air. The bar was full and everyone took an interest in Crabby. Johnny Moore was behind the bar. “Johnny please can you help me cut Crabby loose so he can go back to the mangroves”. Johnny looked shocked at the suggestion. Crabby’s stalk eyes looked frantically round the room. “Nah” said Johnny reaching for Crabby “He has been out of the mangroves too long he won’t survive”. “Help” I could hear my birth sign scream. “The best place for him is the pot” Johnny advised. “Don’t leave me shouted Crabby” as Johnny purposefully strode towards the kitchen. “It’s the best place for him” said Gilda sympathetically “Here drown your sorrows with a glass of wine”. Johnny soon returned rubbing his tummy “Anyone for Stuffed Crab”.

So that was the end of Crabby.